I don't know what to think.
So it's my last week at uni. I have two assignments left to do (one of which will only take a couple of hours to finish off) but on Wednesday it's my last class.
Today was the end of two of my subjects. Class finished, and that's it. Nothing happened. It's such an anticlimax. When you graduate high school or primary school there is all this celebration and craziness surrounding the whole process. But for uni, you just pick up your notebook off the desk and leave class. And that's it. Three years and that's how it ends. I probably won't see half the people in my classes again. Thanks for the memories UTS.
On Wednesday night we will probably have a few drinks. But then what? It's over. I am happy that it's over, but there is kind of very strange feeling about it all as well. One sort of feels like there should be some kind of big commotion to mark this passing from one phase of life in to another. There will be a graduation ceremony, but not until March or April next year... more than 4 months away. And by then I will be even more nonplused about the event than I am now. But on Wednesday night I will finish uni. And then I will work full time in a job I have already been at for nearly 6 weeks. And that's it. It's done.
I don't know what to think. I'm finishing my degree. I'm not sad. I'm not excited. I'm not scared. I don't have regrets about it. I'm just sitting here wondering how I am supposed to feel about it and why I am not really feeling anything.
I guess I have to wait and see if I pass before I get too carried away. But it troubles me that an airplane passing over my head or a picture of a double decker bus or a song that I screamed along to in some seedy pub overseas stirs up so much more inside me than the fact that I have finished my degree. A degree I busted my butt to get the mark to qualify for. A degree through which I have worked extremely hard throughout to afford to live in Sydney and afford things like my exchange. A degree where I have met many interesting and amazing people. A degree that has changed the way I think about and look at the world in many ways. And a degree that has gotten me a job as a journalist, which ultimately is what I wanted. Yet I feel nothing. But if someone handed me a plane ticket overseas right now and a bit of cash to get by, I'd throw it all away in a second. What's wrong with me?
Today was the end of two of my subjects. Class finished, and that's it. Nothing happened. It's such an anticlimax. When you graduate high school or primary school there is all this celebration and craziness surrounding the whole process. But for uni, you just pick up your notebook off the desk and leave class. And that's it. Three years and that's how it ends. I probably won't see half the people in my classes again. Thanks for the memories UTS.
On Wednesday night we will probably have a few drinks. But then what? It's over. I am happy that it's over, but there is kind of very strange feeling about it all as well. One sort of feels like there should be some kind of big commotion to mark this passing from one phase of life in to another. There will be a graduation ceremony, but not until March or April next year... more than 4 months away. And by then I will be even more nonplused about the event than I am now. But on Wednesday night I will finish uni. And then I will work full time in a job I have already been at for nearly 6 weeks. And that's it. It's done.
I don't know what to think. I'm finishing my degree. I'm not sad. I'm not excited. I'm not scared. I don't have regrets about it. I'm just sitting here wondering how I am supposed to feel about it and why I am not really feeling anything.
I guess I have to wait and see if I pass before I get too carried away. But it troubles me that an airplane passing over my head or a picture of a double decker bus or a song that I screamed along to in some seedy pub overseas stirs up so much more inside me than the fact that I have finished my degree. A degree I busted my butt to get the mark to qualify for. A degree through which I have worked extremely hard throughout to afford to live in Sydney and afford things like my exchange. A degree where I have met many interesting and amazing people. A degree that has changed the way I think about and look at the world in many ways. And a degree that has gotten me a job as a journalist, which ultimately is what I wanted. Yet I feel nothing. But if someone handed me a plane ticket overseas right now and a bit of cash to get by, I'd throw it all away in a second. What's wrong with me?
posted by Ashlee at 6:53:00 pm
1 Comments:
Congratuations! I really sympathise with the way you're feeling at the moment about how it seems like a bit of anticlimax after trhee years. You wander around the Tower Block looking at others and wondering how many other people know that it's your last week there, or whether they even care.
You really deserve a party! Good luck for the future.
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