Apple buys my TV box and renames it iDull

Last night we watched Idol.. iDull if if was owned by Apple. It was pretty dull. Damian deserved a touchdown and didn't get it, Chris didn't really deserve one and got it, Jess sung like an R and B diva, the judges told Dean Geyer he was hot and Ricky Muscat looked like he was about to murder/rape someone... oh and Marcia and Mark had a tiff which result in her saying "nah ah", spinning her little black judges chair around and holding her pose with a "talk to the hand gesture" for a good 90 seconds before deciding to move on with her life. Where has all the excitement gone? There wasn't even the "WTF!" looks Andrew G makes when Stunned Mullet Matheson says something weird, because Matheson was snorting up before his gig hosting the ARIAs. Wow... I reckon half of Australia could do a better job hosting stuff than Jimmy Matheson... without the drugs.

Then on to the ARIAs, where the main excitement was Wolfmother continually winning awards, coming up on stage completely blind and trying to construct sentences. It was getting sad when they had to resort to thanking "all the people". Wow, thanks for thanking me Wolfmother, I'm not even really a big fan, but thanks for the shoutout! The guys from Midnight Oil said something political (yay... but where was the political stunt, your shirts could have said something interesting at least... you've gone soft Garrett, have you been taking policy tips from Beazley?)... the Veronicas giggled and talked in unison and sang badly... Bernard Fanning tried to make some statement about the superficiality of awards ceremonies but then decided to revoke it so it didn't offend anyone, Calire Bowditch (who I was happy to see get something) gushed, as pregnant women are want to do...

The best live performances were definitely Youth Group and Bernard Fanning/Claire Bowditch/Casey Chambers doing their trio. The lead guy in Wolfmother was sounding like a racehorse for some reason, and the Veronicas were pretty bad.

Love the D grade celebs from the states they hauled over... one teen hit wonder who sings Beautiful Soul and Johnny Knoxville, who must be appluded for turning around to say hi to the underage fans and revealing the large bottle of whiskey he had shoved down the back of his trousers. I also loved when Wolfmother were drinking from a bottle of spirits while accepting an award. Think of the chillun' you role models!

Most ripped off for me this year was Augie March, surely One Crowded Hour deserved to win something... I love Youth Group's Forever Young sadly enough, but it shouldn't have been nominated in best song because it's a cover. Yeah. Blah. Don't have anything else to write really. Should get back to the essay (why can't I write an essay about iDull?)

*swivels in her office chair at the library and puts hand up to computer in a talk to the hand nah ah Marcia Hines inspired move*

*blinks*

Haven't you gone yet? That's the universally recognized move that means "get out of my face now yo bitches"