Aussie Idol and underarms

Last night's Aussie Idol showed some top talent... except dicky Ricky, who hopefully will finally leave the competition this week (much to the relief of my flatmate Mel and I who can't stand the bogan footballer turned pop star). Albury's Lisa Mitchell from Albury sang really well for the first time in ages, which is special since she is from Albury. The Albury schoolgirl sang Coldplay (they are not from Albury) and probably has singlehandedly increased the number of things you will find if you type the word Albury in to Google. Cos she's from Albury. Hometown respect! I'm from Albury too you see.

But perhaps a greater enlightenment was brought upon the world than the fact that Dean Geyer is actually even cuter in a non-threatening boyband way when he is holding a guitar (even horny little Kyle Sandilands wants to see him naked it seems). During the ad breaks, my housemate Mel and I were shocked to discover why we are both single. It seems that the one part of our bodies that we thought we could safely ignore and not objectify could be the reason why nobody loves us... not only does the modern woman have to worry about cellulite, fat, pimples, tans, fat, acne, flabby arms, stubby fingernails and the like... the underarm is really what guys are after now. Thankfully it is now possible to use the goodness of pearls (I am assuming its more like a chemically generated pearly like substance, otherwise it would be friggin expensive deodorant) to make your underarms beautiful. By ignoring your underarms, you are not fulfilling your female duty to be a sex object and your boyfriend will promptly dump you. The age of the beautiful underarm has dawned and there will be no going back from this point.

Enough with the feminist rant, back to Idol, where snide innuendoes abounded last night making the show actually semi entertaining. Kyle thought Bobby "was going to blow me" (his own words!)... Andrew G and Holden made some joke about Holden's wankery Touchdown thing being "all in the hands"... Kyle and sister girlfriend Marcia made some reference to Holden taking Viagra... it was fantastic. Not to mention the crowd doing some kind of football cheer for the "concept" of Bobby Flynn (he is no longer an artist it seems... he is a whole concept and philosophy according to Holden "it's all in the hand"). Next thing in art school you will learn about impressionism, post structuralism and Bobby Flynn-ism. Albury's Lisa Mitchell from Albury was awesome and the Albury schoolgirl made Albury proud (as anyone from Albury knows, a rare and glorious achievement). Damien Leith was fantastic. Dean was hot. Jess was divalicious and cute. Chris Murphy was dull. Ricky was dicky, and Kyle and Mark promptly blew him as a result of this (opps I made a sexual innuendo *cue audience laughter and quick backtracking to disguise underlying smuttiness during prime time viewing*).

But this week is set to get better. For some stupid reason, the Idols have been suppressed from singing us the songs they really want... until Tuesday night "where the Idols will sing you the songs they really want to sing". Presumably, when the Idols get to sing what they want to sing rather than conforming to stupid theme nights they do a much better job based on last night's viewing... one wonders why we have had to wait this long to be bestowed with such a glittering and rare treasure. Oh wait. That's right. Cos ultimately Australian Idol is about voting for who you like best when they are forced to sing songs they have no passion about so that when they release an album (in time for the Christmas spending spree of course) full of prewritten bog standard pop shit that they don't care about we won't be too surprised at what it sounds like. We wouldn't want to be disappointed with the album... if they make sure we don't get out expectations too high during the finals, it's all good. But it's all about the music of course...