Jackie Chan's newest starring role; Kmart team member + an Idol scoop
Looking at some new Bonds undies in Kmart. Oh aren't the colours fun. Oooo shouldn't I be at home doing uni work. Do I really need new undies? Would I be buying them if there wasn't a sale on?
No time to think about that. Someone's saying something over the loudspeaker that has interrupted Rhianna's insincere call of SOS.
"Would staff member Jackie Chan please come to the layby counter. Jackie Chan to the layby counter."
All of a sudden I had a crazy image in my mind of the film star Jackie Chan working in Kmart. He would be darting around with his price gun, doing backflips over the clothing racks and crashing through the piles of 16 piece dinner sets any time some punk high schooler even thought about shoplifting. When I had a brief stint as a Coles Myer employee we had to watch all these horrible training videos that were really boring. Maybe Kmart team member Jackie Chan should remake the videos in his Hollywood blockbuster comedy/martial arts style. I sure as hell would have cared a lot more about how to lift things safely if someone's ass was gonna get kicked if it wasn't done right. The best we got was Lisa McCune (yes, gold logie winning Lisa McCune) talking on the fire safety video. One of her greatest performances I would say.
On a completely unrelated note, I loved this comment from James Matheson on Idol verdict last night;
"Some of our former Idols have been shooting up (long pause)... the charts." Andrew G turned to him and supressed laughter. Since we know they haven't been shooting up the charts, this was clearly a sneaky reference to the fact that a few of our former Idols have a penchant for mind altering substances these days.
I have it from a friend of a source within the Idol institution that a certain former Idol contestant is so drug f*cked now that she/he has to have adrenalin shots in their neck before every performance just so they can sing. When the story breaks, you heard it here first kids. I can't say who, I don't want to get sued. Not that I have any money anyway.
No time to think about that. Someone's saying something over the loudspeaker that has interrupted Rhianna's insincere call of SOS.
"Would staff member Jackie Chan please come to the layby counter. Jackie Chan to the layby counter."
All of a sudden I had a crazy image in my mind of the film star Jackie Chan working in Kmart. He would be darting around with his price gun, doing backflips over the clothing racks and crashing through the piles of 16 piece dinner sets any time some punk high schooler even thought about shoplifting. When I had a brief stint as a Coles Myer employee we had to watch all these horrible training videos that were really boring. Maybe Kmart team member Jackie Chan should remake the videos in his Hollywood blockbuster comedy/martial arts style. I sure as hell would have cared a lot more about how to lift things safely if someone's ass was gonna get kicked if it wasn't done right. The best we got was Lisa McCune (yes, gold logie winning Lisa McCune) talking on the fire safety video. One of her greatest performances I would say.
On a completely unrelated note, I loved this comment from James Matheson on Idol verdict last night;
"Some of our former Idols have been shooting up (long pause)... the charts." Andrew G turned to him and supressed laughter. Since we know they haven't been shooting up the charts, this was clearly a sneaky reference to the fact that a few of our former Idols have a penchant for mind altering substances these days.
I have it from a friend of a source within the Idol institution that a certain former Idol contestant is so drug f*cked now that she/he has to have adrenalin shots in their neck before every performance just so they can sing. When the story breaks, you heard it here first kids. I can't say who, I don't want to get sued. Not that I have any money anyway.
posted by Ashlee at 2:05:00 pm
2 Comments:
Hey Ashlee, I'm a Sydney uni student travelling to Vietnam in Feb - I tried to view your site about it but it didn't work? We're going to a few of the places you mentioned, and I'm looking everywhere for info.. Is there some way I can read it?
Could you pick me up some undies? Size small (I'm petite). Boxer briefs. Red. Or green. Not blue. Thanks. Pay you when you get here.
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